Exploring Gender with Parts Work

One of the beautiful things about parts work—especially Internal Family Systems (IFS)—is that it invites us to embrace our inner multiplicity. In IFS, we don’t assume anything about a person’s parts—not their roles, stories, or their pronouns.

Someone who uses he/him pronouns might have parts that prefer she, they, or something entirely different. These inner aspects reflect lived experience, emotion, memory, and imagination. When we listen closely, our parts often hold pieces of identity that haven’t had space, safety, or language until now.

For many people—myself included—parts work has been a meaningful tool in exploring gender identity. It helped me understand and embrace my own non-binary identity by making space for the full spectrum of what lives inside me. I began to notice parts of me that felt more feminine, more masculine, more fluid, more neutral. Some of those parts were young and scared. Others were bold and expansive. Being in relationship with them helped me move beyond rigid categories and into something more alive, nuanced, and true.

In a culture that often demands clarity and consistency, parts work reminds us that complexity is not confusion. It’s wholeness.

Exploring gender through parts work can be a gentle, affirming process of curiosity. There’s no pressure to “figure it out.” Instead, we practice listening—with compassion and openness—to the many voices within. You don’t have to make it make sense. You just have to be willing to be in relationship.

As we unblend from internalized shame or fear, we create room for authentic expression. And over time, we may find that our inner landscape not only reflects but guides the unfolding of our outer identity.

Sam Trivett is a Registered Clinical Counsellor providing therapy in Vancouver and online throughout BC.